He Said, She Said

He Said, She Said

He said, use the universe 

As a map to guide your intellect,
But the universe sits on 
His lips like second hand smoke,
Rings around his finger 
Where he ignores the empty fisted
Promises of years past. 
I said, the universe is constantly 
Expanding with letters crawling
Across my wrists and 
Forming words that mean
I Do. 
He said, you don’t know me,
And maybe I don’t,
But I’ve seen self-destruction
Like a mirror image of myself
In him. 
I said, you don’t know the broken 
Bits of me that make me wholly 
And sacrilegious at the same time.
He said, time is important,
And the amount of breaths I’ve taken 
Is far lesser than his, 
So I cannot know pain like he does.
I said, I know pain. 
He said, he knows more,
Like it’s a competition and he always
Has the upper hand,
But I’m not trying to out-broken him.
I said, you ask me what I see in you
Without ever telling me what you see
In me, 
But maybe because there is nothing to see,
An empty cavity between the teeth
That leave bite marks 
On other girls’ breasts. 
He said, you think I’m a womanizer, don’t you? 
I said, no. 
He’s a half sunk sailboat without a life vest,
And I wanted to save him 
From going under, 
But instead, 
I’m being dragged down, too.
He said, you only think about today.
In truth, I’m thinking of my lack of future.
How a family would feel against my body,
How love would embrace my skin
Like home,
How I could finally feel safe again.
He said, you’re not ready for this.
I said, tell me the truth, 
Even when it makes me write bad poetry
About how much I care about him.
I cannot 
Understand why 
He said, I’m not ready. 
He said, I’m not ready. 
He said, I’m not ready.
I said, okay. 
Who am I to know when to fire 
The gun 
And run and run and run? 
-Seraphine 

A Poem I’m Not Ready to Write

A Poem I’m Not Ready to Write

I’m not ready to write this poem.
I don’t think my heart
Can handle the consequences
Of telling you the truth.
The truth isn’t strong enough
To handle the liquid courage
You drown yourself in daily.
Every day with you
Is a train wreck
Of emotions without
Any feeling behind them.
I stopped believing in love
Long before I met you,
And you stopped believing
In making silent prayers come true
Long before you met me.
Maybe we are both meant to be
Broken and scattered
Like shattered puzzle pieces mixed up.
You mix your drinks
Like I mix my self hatred
With vodka
To make myself feel pretty.
Liquid courage never gives me
Strength.
It silences the thoughts
In my head for once,
And I can sleep,
For once,
I thought I had found
A place I could lay my head down
After a long day,
And I thought you’d understand
What insomnia does
To the body,
But you have the mindset
Of a hero and a victim,
And I know from experience
You can’t be both.
You were the safe place,
The spot to rest my heavy heart
And drop off my baggage
For a while,
But heavy hearts have a way
Of not letting go.
The weight triples
With every flirtation,
Cripples with every secret glance,
And I’m not ready to
Dance this thin fence line
With you
When she is already
Waiting to be loved
And I belong back
In the shadows
With the other spirits.
One Friday night,
When you’re really lonely,
You’ll pick me up
At a bar
And drink me in
Like whiskey,
Smooth and dark.
And I’ll be waiting,
Binge poet,
Until I intoxicate you
With my every wasted
Breath.
But until then,
I’m not ready to tell you the truth,
And I’m sure as hell
Not ready to write this poem.

-Seraphine

My life. Eithne Sionnach. Little Fire Fox. But now, Seraphine Sionnach. Growing Fire Fox. I’m adorable, but pretty fantastic. 

My life. Eithne Sionnach. Little Fire Fox. But now, Seraphine Sionnach. Growing Fire Fox. I’m adorable, but pretty fantastic. 

In Other News!

In other news, I was asked to be a feature in the Year of the Poet series by Inner Child Press, Ltd. So, the five poems I submitted were: How to Love a Fat Girl, Bluebird, Meteor, Fragile Women, and When Mirrors Have Hands. Thanks to Inner Child Press and William S. Peters for giving me this fantastic opportunity. :) <3 Much love.

Recent Posts

I just posted some of the latest pieces I have written, most from the Writing Circle I hosted last night at Starbucks. :) Also, pictures are up from our latest endeavors! Love these poets! <3